Heart of the anarchist

This project became painful the moment it became personal.

Although, thinking of it now, it has always been personal for me. What happened then? Why does it seem more difficult right now for me to move on this? Why am I afraid to act upon the plans I have developed thus far?

Maybe it's because I realize how much I am still controlled by the monarchy. This realization has me afraid of the very anarchy I propose—the very thing I have been encouraging to take hold is the source of fear I am experiencing now.

I wish it weren't this way.

If I could I wish I could just be analytical about this, and logical even. I wish I could simply set out and accomplish the task before me. I can, and I have to. I will, but this project has been infused with emotion.

I need to channel this. This passion, this emotion, this fear, this anger, I need to channel it to result in progress. I have been making progress, but not taking action.

Today, I will.