Sunday, January 10, 2010

Questions? Direction.

Everyday. Every single day. More than once a day even, I want to write my thoughts down and share with the world. I so long to set the thoughts inside my mind free, but I don't because there is not enough time in each day. When ever I begin to write, I can keep going; I feel completely detached from all sense of time, which is a rare experience for me!

I am thinking about so much right now, I am sometimes fearful that my mind will explode–not that I actually expect it to erupt, but do you ever have times when you feel your mind racing ahead, completely unbound in almost a zillion different directions at speed that you can't maintain and you seem to be constantly left behind with every turn it takes? Well, this is what I'm feeling now. I think about life so much, not in a way that prevents me from living, or that has me quietly observing and introspecting, but I guess it is just that I feel completely aware. I catch myself thinking about the moments when I am in them. I am enjoying, savoring, and experiencing life in a way I have never lived before. It has me wondering what I ever thought about before! I know I was stressed, so I was probably just self-consumed with my stress-thoughts.

The only way I can explain this, is to compare my thoughts and my life to a renaissance. I am experiencing a personal renaissance, a renaissance of self. This analogy may be attributed to the classes I have been studying this week with History of the Italian Renaissance and the Art History of Italian Fashion, Nation and Culture. Yeah, they might have had some influence...

Truly, though. I feel as though I am changing. The crazy thing is, nothing is really different. These feelings are attributed to a change in my perspective as my outlook on life is expanding and shifting–is this common? Is this what happens to people as they are about to graduate and the realities of life begin to set in? I can't say. All I know is that I want to share this experience. I want to share my new perspective with others... how can I?

All these thoughts connect to the ideas I have been having for my capstone project for Design Studies. A discovered sense of self, this is what I want to share. As I feel myself beginning to develop strength, I realize that this is what I want to communicate, to teach and to share. I want to inspire others, specifically young women to explore the pathways that will lead them on the journey to discovering their individual sense of self. Diluted identity and a disconnection from one's self has immeasurable impact.

It has been recognized that a viable solution to AIDS is education amongst women in Africa. Therefore, I am fascinated with the idea that similarly, a solution to eating disorders is also education. If we can educate young girls and women about beauty and redefine this concept within society, I believe that we can change perspectives and enable women to learn to love who they are. A redefined definition of what it is to be beautiful will result in confident individuals able to pursue self discovery–and a vivacity for life amongst our population will impact society in a sincerely positive way.

This is what I aim to do. Now I am embarking upon my journey to explore this idea of what it means to be "beautiful". I this process began so many years ago, so I am stoked to see where my inquisitions and observations will lead...

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